I am Powerless to Resist Posting Elf Yourself Videos

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Note: it takes a while for the videos to upload...sorry for the inconvenience...

I came home yesterday to find the children (even John) crowded around the computer, laughing heartily. Adam had loaded family pictures from the computer files to this year's Elf Yourself clips. When I heard Evan protest loudly, "Adam! Why did you pick that picture of me? I look like a total creeper!" I ran to see what unattractive picture he had selected of me. Turns out, I didn't even make the lineup...and I am totally at peace with that..

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You are under no moral obligation to watch these...but, "creeper Evan" totally cracks me up. (Oh, and I had to have Evan define what a, "creeper" is. I surmised from his definition that a, "creeper" is a strange person that does weird or creepy things that make you uncomfortable when you are around them. Adam said, "Mom, a creeper is someone that is trying to stalk someone...like when you look up and you see a person staring at you...and you don't know how long they have been staring at you.")

There were even more choices of Elf Yourself videos to upload...but if you were bored kind enough to watch these I figure you are thinking, "Well...that was upwards of 30 minutes of time that I will never get back."

But, if you made it through them all, feel free to tell us which video of, "creeper Evan" you liked the best. You know...the video that made you most want to secure a restraining order against him.

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS to you and yours, and may we all keep the creepers at bay this holiday season!!

Seriously...Toys Like This Prove We are Nearing the End of Civilized Society

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Upon seeing the commercial for this new game, one of my boys excitedly told his brothers, "We should ask for that for Christmas!!"
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...and when Mike saw the commercial he exclaimed (in hopes to draw a reaction from me, no doubt) "What the crap!?"
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...seriously...we are nearing the end of civilization...
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I'm With the Band

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Evan is a freshman in high school this year (I know, I'm still in shock as well) and is a trumpet player in the marching band. The halftime show's music is taken from the soundtrack of the movie, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. (Think the movie with Kevin Costner as Robin Hood and the actor that plays Snape in all of the Harry Potter movies as (the villain) the Sheriff of Nottingham.)

It has been a great experience for me to see Evan march. The first time that Mike and I watched a practice of the full halftime show I started to cry. I was moved by the music (I really love the soundtrack and the band is fantastic...of course, I'm not biased) and I had one of those, "I can't believe he is old enough to be doing this!" kind of moments.

I leaned to Mike and said, "He has your great looks and intelligence...but see that perfect heel toe roll? That's all me, baby." ("Heel toe roll" is the way you march to give the appearance that you are gliding across the field.)

Thank you, Mike for allowing me that, "Band Geek" moment. I was a flag girl in high school. (Yeah, I know I have mentioned I was a cheerleader, too...but let's not dwell on the fact that I was a boy's basketball cheerleader in high school. For some reason cheerleading seems to have a negative reputation in the blogsphere. I'm not sure why.)

So, this post is mostly for grandparents (but you know I'd be thrilled if you watched, too. You can leave your address in the comment section and tell me who to make the check out to)...it is the opener to the halftime show that the band takes to competition.

Evan is the fourth trumpet from the left...the trumpets usually comprise the frontline of marchers.






Brian is readily able to pick Evan out while marching. He said loudly a couple of weeks ago during the halftime show, "I can always find Evan. He's the really short one."

Thank you, Brian.

This video was taken early in the season...so many things have improved even more since then. In fact, the band took the title of Grand Champion at a competition several weeks ago.

(The opening scene is hard to make out. The band has just been, "hiding" behind some trees and they, "sneak" to their opening positions. One drum major is Robin Hood and the other is the Sheriff of Nottingham. The entire drumline are, "villains" and the rest of the band are Robin Hood's men.

Thank you for indulging me. I am off to cut your checks right now ☺.
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Don't Worry, I Still Adore Him

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Even though he is being soooooooo two right now.

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Sometimes He Catches Me Off Guard with His Humor

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I recently misplaced (okay, fine it was totally lost, as in, I had no idea where it was) my camera and I was devastated. There were so many pictures that I hadn't taken the time to save from the camera's memory card onto the computer or on a disc (once the camera was recovered I did both, don't worry). I should write a post about the whole, "Not Knowing the Whereabouts of My Camera and Crying Like a Small Child for Days" incident...but my reason for sharing on this post that I had lost the camera is...


I was remembering these pictures of Evan wearing Mike's bomber jacket from his high school days, ('84 to '88) and I felt positively sick because I thought the pictures were lost forever.The first time that Evan wore the bomber jacket I kept obsessing out loud (out loud is the best way to obsess over things...then you get to enjoy crowd participation) that I simply couldn't believe that Evan was old enough, and big enough, to wear the bomber jacket that his father wore in high school. When we were at the elementary school for Adam's chorus performance this past December, I kept obsessing (remember, out loud obsessing is preferable...even if your children roll their eyes and pretend that they are going to run screaming into the night) that Evan was wearing the jacket that his father wore to our high school. (Yes, Mike and I went to the same high school and graduated in 1988.)


Anyway, I am grateful that my camera was found...and I hope to post a lot of the pictures that I feared had been lost forever...

...but...the real reason for this post is that I want to document that Evan makes me laugh...


Our street is right off a main road that has a private Christian high school and a shopping center on it. Because of all of the traffic that on the main road it isn't rare to see police officers in patrol cars posted along the road, especially during the hours of drop off and pick up for the high school.

Recently, we have noticed police officers on bikes patrolling the area quite frequently. One day Evan and I had a conversation that went a little something like this... (Editorial Note: The only quote of the following conversation that I am 100% sure is an exact quote is Evan's final comment. The rest is what I best remember of the conversation.)

Evan: "Mom, those cops on bikes are basically useless."

Me: "What do you mean useless?"

Evan: "Well, they can't do anything...they are only on bikes."

Me: "The fact that they are on bikes makes it easier for them to weave in and out of traffic...I think they just have different responsibilities than the cops in patrol cars."

Evan: "Well, they can't arrest anybody."

Me: "Uh, I think they still carry guns. I'd be pretty apt to listen to someone with a gun in their hand."

Evan: "Yeah, but...if they are chasing a criminal it's doubtful that they could even catch them...and how would they even tell them to pull over without a siren...would they pull out a bullhorn?

Me: "Uh..."

Evan: "...and if they really did catch the bad guys what are they going to say, "You broke the law...you're under arrest...get in the basket."

...and that basically ended the conversation because I had to focus on not crashing ye olde minivan because he made me laugh so hard...

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An Open Letter to the Tooth Fairy...

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Dearest Tooth Fairy,

I remember a friend telling me once that she always explained to her children that you came to gather their recently fallen out teeth for the purpose of adding them to your castle walls. I remember distinctly thinking that that had to be the most disgusting thing I had ever heard, and wondering why I had never questioned as a child what you actually did with the teeth that you painstakingly gather.

As I have pondered how you recycle or, I guess I should say, "re-purpose" the teeth you glean from under each pillow, I now realize, who am I to question what you do with the teeth you gather? I mean, perhaps you are using them to strengthen the walls of your castle (you should have quite the fortress by now, I mean really)...or lining the walkways of your garden with them...

I am writing to you now to ask...are you building an addition on to your castle? Are you, perhaps, adding a new turret to the east wing, or something? I do not mean to come across as judgmental...I mean, I understand the hidden costs of new construction...

BUT, LADY, we are dying over here. Teeth are literally falling out of two of my children's heads. I appreciate that you need the teeth for your purposes...but do the words, "financial ruin" mean anything to you? I would say that I am being, "nickel and dimed" to death...but we both know that children in the year 2011 would never accept only a nickel or a dime for their recently lost teeth.

This letter is not meant to be demanding...I am simply asking that you please contribute to the payment of the children whose teeth you gather for your purposes. I have discussed this matter with other parents and we all feel strongly that your help is not only needed, but fair. At the risk of sounding threatening...I feel I must tell you that it may come to the point that I have to share with my children that it is their father and I that have been footing the bill for the tooth removal.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Sincerely,

Lauren in Georgia

P.S. Enclosed are pictures of my sons, whose lives have been somewhat hindered by losing teeth at such a frenzied rate.

Brian has been unable to enjoy fresh fruit without difficulty. (I must confess that this picture does make me laugh, though, because he didn't like how cold and messy the peach was so he found some corn cob skewers to aid him in eating it. Clever boy.)

Brian also likes to pretend that he is a vampire because he is missing so many teeth. As you can imagine, having a child that thinks he is a vampire living in a home with 3 other boys can be problematic on several levels.

Adam's amazing smile, though still handsome, is somewhat startling due to his lack of pearly whites.


In fact, Adam is beginning to look like he has less teeth than this guy.

As you can see...even though having few teeth is appropriate for the baby of the family, it is most distressing to a 10 year old.

Once again, thank you for your consideration in this matter
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Giddy ☺

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I know this is a silly/materialistic thing to post about...and I realize that I am a far cry from a, "fashionista"...but I am just so giddy about my new shoes!


I took the above picture and asked Adam to take the one below. When I asked him to take the picture he looked at me disapprovingly as he shook his head and said, "Really, Mom? Really?"

The hardest thing about creating this blog post was finding a space of carpet that, by some miracle, has remained unstained. Very taxing search process, I must say.

Also, did you know what one of the most disappointing things about healing from multiple head wounds is?

It, like totally, messes up your forehead tan. (The picture doesn't really do the stark pinks and whites of the healing process justice.

Thank you for reading the most random blog post ever composed. I've always liked you...have I told you that?
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You Should Have Seen the Other Guy

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No, I'm just kidding about the title. My dear boy was not it a street fight...

...or a bar room brawl...

...or embroiled in hand to hand combat of any kind...

Let's just say that, in general, he is still honing those climbing skills...

...well, he is actually very adept at the climbing part...

It's the safe descent that still evades him...

This particular injury involved a shopping cart...but that is all that I am at liberty to say...('cause I already feel like a heel...)

The pictures don't really do it justice. I failed to capture the vibrant purples and blues properly.

I can hardly believe that a little man that had such a rough start in life as a preemie has the upper body and leg strength to climb just about anywhere he wants.

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In fact, when I found him standing on the kitchen table the other morning (smiling proudly, I might add) I smiled, and sighed, and told him, "...and to think I was so worried that you wouldn't thrive...now get down, sir."

...at least he hasn't knocked out any of the teeth that he now has...

...oh, dear, I hope I didn't' just jinx that...

.Overall Medical Update: All of John's original preemie problems have melted away over time. He still has some kidney issues that may require surgery if they do not resolve over time on their own, but doctors are not sure if his kidney issues are a result of his being born prematurely, or not. His kidney issues require a daily dose of antibiotic to prevent infection from forming.

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His lungs, which were so weak for so long, and required the daily use of oxygen until he was 16 months old, appear to be working at full health and capacity. Just ask anyone who attended Sacrament Meeting (our main worship service) with us last Sunday. John tripped and fell during the meeting and cracked his head on the cinder block wall at the end of our pew. (What's one more head wound, right?) He let the entire congregation hear for themselves that his lungs are not lacking in strength in any way, shape or form.

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...This Saturday, he turns two...and I keep crying...with equal amounts of joy, relief, and sadness that he is so big...

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...he is thriving, despite his being poorly ( *gulp* shopping cart incident) mothered...

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Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I know that this is a bizarre picture...but indulge me...this is the closest I will ever get to wearing a, "Fascinator" like the ladies at the Royal Wedding.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

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Don't Be Alarmed...

...if, as you are getting ready for bed, you see the dirty clothes pile in your bedroom closet gently rise and fall...and as your curiosity leads you to move closer to the moving, dirty, clothing, you hear loud breathing and notice Brian's quilt on top of, said dirty clothes pile, and as you pull back the quilt you see Brian (who has had several nightmares, as of late) sleeping soundly atop your dirty laundry. (Was that a run-on sentence? Never mind, don't tell me, I'd rather not know.)

...and don't be surprised that you feel an incredible amount of love for your little man and a strange sense of relief that he was able to find comfort and safety among clothing that is in deep need of stain stick application.
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I'm not sure what moved me to actually post about discovering Brian sleeping in my closet. It was just one of those moments where I felt a deep and abiding love for one of my kids, ya know?
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Oh, and uh...Brian probably doesn't want anyone to know that he still sucks his thumb when he sleeps...so let's keep just keep that little tidbit of information to ourselves, shall we?
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How to Pretend You are a Marketing Genius

For more, and I dare say, better, "How-To Tuesday" blog posts, click on the blue button above to go to Stie's awesome blog.


I have been putting little Velcro tabs on my water bottle for several years, now. I decided to begin using the Velcro because I cannot, for the life of me, hold onto my water bottle cap. Perhaps, it is because I live with young people that cannot seem to keep their mitts, and lips, for that matter, off of my beverages....


I just put the fuzzy tab on the top and the stiffer tab on the side, or vice versa, and fingers crossed, manage to keep tabs (yeah, pun intended) on my lid.

I have tried to use Velcro that comes in long strips and cut little tabs myself but those don't work as well. The ends of the tabs curl and they seem to pull off/slide off of the bottle a lot more easily. I try to re-use my water bottles several times (and have even put them in the dishwasher) before tossing them because I am a cheapskate very diligent in my recycling efforts. The circular Velcro tabs last as long as I use the bottle. I have taken to sending recyclable water bottles with my kids to their games and practices because we manage to lose them quite frequently.

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The other day my 13 year old son, Evan, was looking at the Velcro on my water bottle and said, "You know, Mom, you should really market this idea...you could make a lot of money.

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I was shocked that he had a working knowledge of what, "marketing" is to begin with. When I asked him where he learned about the concept of marketing affecting sales he shrugged and said, "Oh, they taught us at school."

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Should I be thrilled or concerned that middle school is preparing Evan for world domination?

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I purchased these Velcro tabs at a swanky little boutique...perhaps you've heard of it...I call it Wal-Mart...

And here is the official, "Product Placement" picture. My apologies I could not get the male model that I hired to look at the camera.
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Oh, and a word to the wise...never let a male model, like the one pictured above, drink out of your water bottle. The amount of backwash that he deposits in your bottle could choke a horse. Once, this particular male model backwashed an entire Combo (the tubular shaped crackers with cheese inside) back into my water bottle. Nothing like having a snack while you enjoy your refreshing water, right?

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So...if any of you actually want to market this idea...I want a cut of the profits.

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...but you'll have to find your own male model for advertisement purposes.

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How-To Look Like Cindy Crawford (Some Restrictions Apply)

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I have a blog friend named Christie (who I like to affectionately call, "Stie"...she said it was okay) that is instituting a new project on her blog called, "How-To Tuesday". She invited all of her readers to join her in sharing tutorials with their readers each Tuesday. I know I have never met Christie in person (don't confuse me with the facts) but I still adore her, and her blog, so I immediately wanted to post a How-To to show my support of her incredible idea.

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Then I was completely stymied as to what to share...

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You see, I love being the recipient of everyone sharing their brilliance on their blogs...but nothing came to mind for me to share...but then I read on Stie's blog that I am welcome to share a tutorial that is, "just plain silly"...

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...and I remembered a beauty tip that supermodel (back when, "supermodels" ruled the world) Cindy Crawford shared with me.

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What? You didn't know that Cindy Crawford and I are besties?

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Okay, that was a lie...I have never even met Cindy Crawford...and I feel confident that she couldn't pick me out of a police-like line up...

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But I digress...

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Cindy was on Oprah years ago and shared how she keeps lipstick from smearing on her front teeth after she applies it to her lips.

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I mean, I may have never met Cindy but we are practically twinners.

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Just look at us, I have brown hair, she has brown hair...

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I have brown eyes, she has brown eyes...

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I have two nostrils, she has two nostrils...

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I mean, YOU probably couldn't tell the two of us apart in a police-like line up.

Okay, fine...I lied again, I don't look like Cindy Crawford...but I wanted to share Cindy's tip so that you look more like the above picture of Cindy and not the below picture of me with lipstick on my front teeth.

Cindy said to apply your lipstick and then put your index finger in your mouth, like so, and pull it straight out...

(Uh, this picture is looking a little more bizarre than I intended)
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By pulling your finger out of your mouth it cleanly wipes off any lipstick that may have been applied to the part of your lips that make contact with your teeth.
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And VOILA' your teeth come out lipstick free!

(Uh, this picture is looking a little bizarre to me, too)

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Now I just need to figure out how to make my teeth look less yellow. I have it on good authority that my teeth have a yellow tint to them.
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So there you have it! My first tutorial!

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To link up to other great tutorials click HERE.

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Thanks, Stie!

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Ready for His Closeup (Is, "closeup" one word, or two?)

Evan is the handsome student in the solid green shirt, wearing his reading glasses, (good job, son ☺) with his mouth slightly agape. Hey, he was into the discussion.

Princess Reform School Candidate

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Last Sunday, one of my sweet little Sunbeams (The Sunbeams are the 3 year olds at church...isn't that a cheerful class name?) brought Valentines for all of her classmates. As we were passing them out at the beginning of class (I figured since each Valentine had a pink lollipop in the shape of a castle attached to it, I'd pass them out early in hopes to inspire quietness as I delivered the lesson) one of the Sunbeams looked at her Valentine and said sadly, "Oh...but I wanted a Cinderella one...". I looked down at the valentine with her name on it and saw a picture of a smiling redhead and realized that the valentine meant for her had Ariel on it.

Hey, give me some credit, I do, by some miracle, know that Ariel is the redhead with the fish tail.

Most assuredly, not Cinderella

I shuffled through the remaining Valentines and offered her one that didn't have a name written on it. (The mother of the little girl that brought the Valentines wisely sent some blank ones in case there were any visitors.) When I handed her a different Valentine with a beautiful, smiling princess on it, she told me with shock and despair in her voice, "No...that one's Sleeping Beauty..."


The audible shock and despair in her voice probably stemmed from her concern that there was not a Cinderella valentine left...


...or, maybe, because she realized at that very moment that I was, obviously, not qualified to teach a class full of 3 year olds...


... yeah, I am thinking it was probably the latter...at that moment she was most likely thinking that I could no longer be trusted...and that it was reckless of the church leadership to leave her in the hands of someone of such questionable judgement...


























You have to admit, they look a lot alike...oh, just agree with me so I'll feel better...I now remember that Sleeping Beauty is in the pink dress and Cinderella is in the blue.

Yeah, still not Cinderella

I frantically shuffled through the remaining Valentines again and passed over two unaddressed Snow Whites (I knew Snow White was a brunette with a 1940's hairstyle, at least) and offered her the other pretty blonde princess valentine that was addressed, "To: Sister Marshman". The look of concern on her pretty face vanished and she smiled happily and exclaimed gleefully, "Yeah, that one's Cinderella!!" Luckily, she didn't seem to mind that that Valentine was addressed to me.

So, I didn't get a Cinderella Valentine...but I was at peace with that.

I confessed my princess faux pas, and why her daughter had two Valentines to her mother when she came to pick her little girl up from class. Upon hearing the whole story, her mother said with feigned dismay, "You need to attend Princess Rehab!!"

I even had several mothers offer to lend me some Disney movies as part of an outpatient princess rehabilitation program.

So, I guess being a mom of 4 sons has left me a bit unpolished in my knowledge of princesses...


...but if you need to know anything about a super hero that was bitten by a radio-active spider, or one that has a sidekick that prefaces each sentence with the word, "Holy!!", or one that has long metal spikes coming out of the back of his hands and some serious mutton chops, or one that wears tights and a cape...

...if you need to know about any of those superheroes...

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...then, I'm your girl.
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Wonders Never Cease

It actually snowed in Georgia for the second year in a row. Well, it would be more accurate to say that it snowed, and then it rained and topped the snow with a nice layer of treacherous ice.


(This little snow suit was Evan's some 13 years ago *sniff* *sniff*)
The boys had a great time breaking through the top layer of ice and playing in the snow beneath.

Well, John wasn't much of a fan of the snow. He stood motionless the entire time he was outside making an uneasy, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound. I speak fluent John...allow me to translate...the, "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" means, "What have you people done to my backyard? Pick me up...I fell like I'm gonna fall down...."

See, he smiled for the camera...but wouldn't move an inch.

The older boys kept pushing each other down. (Why do they do that?) This picture was taken about the time I began bellowing at Brian to zip his coat up.

Grandad Marshman gave Evan this camouflage raincoat. The fact that it is waterproof came in handy because he kept belly crawling through the snow. (Why do they do that?) Notice that Adam is wearing gardening gloves again this year. I guess I should buy some real snow gloves. I thought last year's snow was a fluke and the boys wouldn't need them. I guess I should buy full outfits of snow gear...of course, with my luck, that would ensure that it never snows again.

Adam preparing to do a face down snow angel. (Why do they do that?) Luckily for us we live in a military town and Evan's friend gave him this full camo (warm!) outfit when he had outgrown it...and Evan passed it on to Adam when he had outgrown it.

Mike tried to teach John that snow can be fun. I heard him tell John, "You never eat it if it's yellow, son...but it's good!!"

He gave eating it a try but he still refused to walk around in it. I told him, "John...we are from Virginia...we like the snow!" Mike answered me, speaking for John, and said, "No, mama...I'm pure Georgian." It made me kind of sad...but it really is true...it has been 5 years since we moved from our homeland of Virginia.

Still not moving.

Okay, there is eating snow...but my boys seem to take eating snow to a new level. (Why do they do that?) Behold, the, "Feasting on the Snow" photo shoot.

Because of the top layer of ice, the boys were able to pick up huge chunks of ice and snow to gnaw on. Right after I took this picture I asked Brian why he hadn't zipped up his coat. He then informed me that he had just broken his zipper. Oh, for pity sake.

Why isn't Adam wearing a hat? What kind of a mother would allow such a thing?

I finally moved John to a bench since he refused to budge...

...but then, Brian threw a snowball at Evan and John got showered with some of the ice cold collateral damage, and was DONE with being outside in the snow.

So I carried John across the frozen tundra of the backyard to the warm house and gave him a warm bottle.

And thus concludes the tale of our Georgia Snowfall of 2011.

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