18 Years

We all know that I don't always make the best choices. I mean, I'm the kid of girl that considers Hostess Sno Balls a delicacy...

But, I definitely made the best decision of my life, 18 years ago, today.

Happy Anniversary, Babe. I love you.
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Pat Yourself on the Back

I know this picture was taken about two years ago...but it captures one of my happiest moments as a mother: Taking my little John (born 2 and a half months prematurely) swimming for the first time. (Not pictured is the little oxygen tank he was connected to, resting poolside.) It really is miraculous how healthy his lungs are now. Take my word for it...earlier today he was BELLOWING at me, "Mooooom, I ready to go to da YI-BRARE-EEEEE!!" What can I say? The little man loves story time at the library.

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My reason for posting today is this...
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Sometimes Mother's Day is really hard for moms. Like, really hard.
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I remember before I was even married sitting in Sacrament Meeting (our main worship service) hearing a mother that I admired speak on Mother's Day. In her talk she shared that her own mother despised coming to church on Mother's Day because she was sick of hearing about all of the, "perfect" mothers that could do amazing things like, "build a bicycle out of tin cans". I have to laugh remembering that church talk some 25 years later because the claim of perfect mothering including being able to do amazing things like, "build a bicycle out of tin cans" has stuck with me with perfect clarity.
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Some 25 years ago the young, single, then childless, Lauren thought she would never feel insecure about her mothering skills...
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But on Mother's Day...the Mother Guilt (definition: feeling guilty about being a less than perfect mother) always hits me hard. I know it shouldn't...but it does.
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After I got home from church yesterday I decided, "You know what? No more."
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I started to laugh (probably causing my dear husband to fear that I had finally lost it for good, as it appeared I was laughing at nothing) as I remembered a recent conversation with my oldest Evan. Evan likes to tease me (and by, "tease" I mean, "mock mercilessly") about the fact that my brain does not work mathematically. I'm serious. Something in my brain is broken...all of my children know that at about 4th grade they must seek help from their father if they need help with math homework. So...Evan was doing his typical, though good natured, teasing about my lacking math skills and then I said something along the lines of,
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"You know what boy? I may not be good at math...but mathematics is not my chosen field of expertise. Mothering is my chosen field of expertise, and while I am less than perfect, I had a great hand in producing you...who is excellent at math...so CLEARLY I am doing something right in my chosen field of expertise...so, you're welcome.:
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Evan looked at me blankly and then...*blink*...*blink* said, "That was pretty good, Mom."
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So...you know what? We may be less than perfect...but our families have our best efforts...if you think you aren't a good mom, take a look at your awesome kids...and I give you licence (because I am the boss of this here blog) to pat yourselves on the back.
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Go on Sista' Friends...you are doing a good job. You are doing hard things. Your Heavenly Father loves you and applauds your efforts... so, go on, pat away.
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