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Dearest Tooth Fairy,
I remember a friend telling me once that she always explained to her children that you came to gather their recently fallen out teeth for the purpose of adding them to your castle walls. I remember distinctly thinking that that had to be the most disgusting thing I had ever heard, and wondering why I had never questioned as a child what you actually did with the teeth that you painstakingly gather.
As I have pondered how you recycle or, I guess I should say, "re-purpose" the teeth you glean from under each pillow, I now realize, who am I to question what you do with the teeth you gather? I mean, perhaps you are using them to strengthen the walls of your castle (you should have quite the fortress by now, I mean really)...or lining the walkways of your garden with them...
I am writing to you now to ask...are you building an addition on to your castle? Are you, perhaps, adding a new turret to the east wing, or something? I do not mean to come across as judgmental...I mean, I understand the hidden costs of new construction...
BUT, LADY, we are dying over here. Teeth are literally falling out of two of my children's heads. I appreciate that you need the teeth for your purposes...but do the words, "financial ruin" mean anything to you? I would say that I am being, "nickel and dimed" to death...but we both know that children in the year 2011 would never accept only a nickel or a dime for their recently lost teeth.
This letter is not meant to be demanding...I am simply asking that you please contribute to the payment of the children whose teeth you gather for your purposes. I have discussed this matter with other parents and we all feel strongly that your help is not only needed, but fair. At the risk of sounding threatening...I feel I must tell you that it may come to the point that I have to share with my children that it is their father and I that have been footing the bill for the tooth removal.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
Sincerely,
Lauren in Georgia
P.S. Enclosed are pictures of my sons, whose lives have been somewhat hindered by losing teeth at such a frenzied rate.
Brian has been unable to enjoy fresh fruit without difficulty. (I must confess that this picture does make me laugh, though, because he didn't like how cold and messy the peach was so he found some corn cob skewers to aid him in eating it. Clever boy.)
Brian also likes to pretend that he is a vampire because he is missing so many teeth. As you can imagine, having a child that thinks he is a vampire living in a home with 3 other boys can be problematic on several levels.
Adam's amazing smile, though still handsome, is somewhat startling due to his lack of pearly whites.
In fact, Adam is beginning to look like he has less teeth than this guy.
As you can see...even though having few teeth is appropriate for the baby of the family, it is most distressing to a 10 year old.Once again, thank you for your consideration in this matter
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