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Dearest Tooth Fairy,
I remember a friend telling me once that she always explained to her children that you came to gather their recently fallen out teeth for the purpose of adding them to your castle walls. I remember distinctly thinking that that had to be the most disgusting thing I had ever heard, and wondering why I had never questioned as a child what you actually did with the teeth that you painstakingly gather.
As I have pondered how you recycle or, I guess I should say, "re-purpose" the teeth you glean from under each pillow, I now realize, who am I to question what you do with the teeth you gather? I mean, perhaps you are using them to strengthen the walls of your castle (you should have quite the fortress by now, I mean really)...or lining the walkways of your garden with them...
I am writing to you now to ask...are you building an addition on to your castle? Are you, perhaps, adding a new turret to the east wing, or something? I do not mean to come across as judgmental...I mean, I understand the hidden costs of new construction...
BUT, LADY, we are dying over here. Teeth are literally falling out of two of my children's heads. I appreciate that you need the teeth for your purposes...but do the words, "financial ruin" mean anything to you? I would say that I am being, "nickel and dimed" to death...but we both know that children in the year 2011 would never accept only a nickel or a dime for their recently lost teeth.
This letter is not meant to be demanding...I am simply asking that you please contribute to the payment of the children whose teeth you gather for your purposes. I have discussed this matter with other parents and we all feel strongly that your help is not only needed, but fair. At the risk of sounding threatening...I feel I must tell you that it may come to the point that I have to share with my children that it is their father and I that have been footing the bill for the tooth removal.
Thank you for your consideration in this matter.
Sincerely,
Lauren in Georgia
P.S. Enclosed are pictures of my sons, whose lives have been somewhat hindered by losing teeth at such a frenzied rate.
Brian has been unable to enjoy fresh fruit without difficulty. (I must confess that this picture does make me laugh, though, because he didn't like how cold and messy the peach was so he found some corn cob skewers to aid him in eating it. Clever boy.)
Brian also likes to pretend that he is a vampire because he is missing so many teeth. As you can imagine, having a child that thinks he is a vampire living in a home with 3 other boys can be problematic on several levels.
Adam's amazing smile, though still handsome, is somewhat startling due to his lack of pearly whites.
In fact, Adam is beginning to look like he has less teeth than this guy.
As you can see...even though having few teeth is appropriate for the baby of the family, it is most distressing to a 10 year old.Once again, thank you for your consideration in this matter
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13 comments:
I have to commend you on being so kind in your letter to the tooth fairy. I think that I have exchanged one too many unkind words with the fairy, hence her refusal to show up one day or even two days after my kids have lost their teeth.
I loved this post! I remember when the tooth fairy upgraded from a quarter to a fifty cent piece...now I hear the going rate requires dollar bill(s)!! But, definite points to Brian for his ingenuity...he's one smart kid!!
Our tooth fairy is cheap around these parts...only a dollar. She is kinda flakey and forgets a lot though so when my kids find anything under their pillow it's a treat!
Cute toothless kids by the way...
the other day i was cleaning out a box, and i found a baggie with 7 teeth in it.
yeah. i know.
i don't remember saving them, i don't even know whose they are. i can't bring myself to throw them away, but i am thoroughly disgusted by them. they're still sitting on my nightstand.
somewhere, a castle remains unbuilt.
That Tooth Fairy is LAZY! She always forgets to show up here (once it was weeks!).
Your pics are cute cute cute.
I adore you Lauren and I miss you so much! Love the post and I love the toothless pictures.
I can't save the teeth. The gross me out. I always throw them out. And Tooth Fairy only leaves a dollar. But sometimes she forgets and it takes her a day or two ha ha!
Cute pictures of the boys!
I feel your pain. The toothfairy has made two visits to our house this week alone.
According to my oldest, she recycles the teeth. So the key to the puzzle is your teething toddler- his demand is your older ones loss!
Blame the baby, that's what we do around here!
oh my goodness! that post was hilarious! That darn tooth fairy always finds the most inappropriate times to make teeth fall out! I remember when I was little thinking that my mom had put a rock in my toast... when really it was just one of my teeth. Sneaky lady that one..
Haaa, I love it. We just had a visit from her. Actually she forgot (that happens quite a bit around here, she must be sleep deprived) and was reminded by daughter that she did her part and the tooth fairy didn't do her part. I told her she needed to wait because that tooth fairy was broke, maybe try again around pay day!
I agree, the tooth FAIRy should be Fair! It's in her name after all!! (Personal Note: I think the tooth fairy rocks!)
Oh how I love to read this blog! When Mady was little and lost a tooth, my parents told her that the tooth fair gave $10 for teeth (they lived in NM). I informed her that the Utah tooth fairy didn't pay that much, so maybe she should wait until then next time she visited grandma and grandpa before she put her tooth under the pillow! I hope you are doing well. Miss you!
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