Field Guide to Effective Parenting

The following Field Guide was researched during our Spring Break, 2008. The case study includes my 3 children, Evan (10) Adam (7) and Brian (4) and the little boy I babysit, Asher (17 months)

Are your children driving you buggy?

Do things seem to be spinning out of control?

Are you tempted to string everybody up?

Or shock them into submission?

Perhaps, you have been tempted to do something UNTHINKABLE, like locking them up?

Or, make them lift heavy objects in hopes to break their willful spirits...

Well, if you have reached your breaking point...drastic measures may be called for...

May I suggest...

Hypnosis.

Repeat after me children..."I am getting verrrrrrry sleeeeeeeepy...I will go to bed at six o'clock tonight, without complaint...I will listen to everything my wonderful mother says...I will eat all of my vegetables...I will leave this children's science museum without begging to purchase any of the overpriced items in the science store, and understand what my mother means when she says that the pricing of the items in, said store, give new meaning to the phrase, "highway robbery".

Now that I have shared with you my secret, I must warn you that before becoming fully hypnotized you may have to...

Thwart any attempts to escape...

and there WILL be escape attempts...

by car...

by bobsled...

by motorcycle...

even, by helicopter...

look at those smug faces...they think they are getting away...

but then, I gave chase on foot...

here I am closing in on Brian...

You may have a child that will go to dizzying heights and perform death-defying feats to escape your clutches.

( all joking aside, I am amazed that Adam dared to ride the, "High Wire" bike. We were 2 stories up and it felt, and looked unbelievably high up there. There was a safety net and he was buckled in but, he was the only one brave enough to try it. I kept holding little Asher close and insisting I had to watch him closely on the upper level, so I couldn't possibly try it. ( Asher, I am always glad to have you around, but at this moment I felt an even deeper sense of gratitude to have you in my care.☺) When we got to the top of the platform where the High Wire Bike was, we were tickled to see two missionaries running the activity. They were in our stake but in a different ward and it was a surprise to see them there. They volunteer four hours weekly at the children's museum for community service. After Adam was done one of the Elders rode the bike around with no hands and let it lean way to the side, on purpose. I hollered at him that I was going to contact his mother if he didn't quit.

If they still evade capture and try to hide....

smoke 'em out...

(Brian was totally fascinated with the tornado machine. Perhaps, it was because of this experience.

Make sure that your children receive their, "just desserts" for behavior.

And never discourage public displays of affection.

( Poor Asher was so tired by the end of each day.)

Thank you to the following establishments for teaching my kids the "lessons" they deserve. ☺

We had a great week!♥

Let's Go, Hokies.

We consider our hometown to be Blacksburg, Virginia, home of the Virginia Tech Hokies. Tomorrow is the anniversary of the shootings by a single gunman that took the lives of 32 innocent victims.

I won't dwell too much on the details here...we can all read reports of the horrible events that took place on April 16, 2007, from all that has been already written. I just want to post quietly here, how sorry I am to the families of the victims and the Virginia Tech community as a whole.

Sometimes, I still cry about it.

I remember last November watching a football game on T.V. at my parents' house over Thanksgiving break. Our family was excited because, "Uncle Nick" (Mike's cousin) was on the field playing for our beloved Hokies. Mike looked over at one point to see tears streaming down my face. He asked me what was wrong and I quietly told him, "Sometimes I think about it...how can I not?...I just keep thinking how this is the first Thanksgiving all of those families will be without their loved ones..." Mike hugged me, and nodded knowingly.

My younger brother John, was on campus at the time of the shootings.

Our beloved Stake President from when we lived in Virginia, that had been both Mike and my Bishop when we prepared for, and left on our missions, was in the building at the time of the shootings.

Mike's cousin, the aforementioned "Uncle Nick" as my kids call him, was on campus at the time of the shootings.

I did not know any of the victims personally, but when Adam was 4 he was in a pre-school program at Blacksburg High School. It was a special lab school that the high schoolers could take for elective credit that would teach them how to work with pre-schoolers, and help prepare them for kindergarten. I always noticed a beautiful and kind young woman, with brilliant red hair that worked very patiently, and well with the children. I was very saddened to learn that this young woman was on of the 32 slain. Her name was Austin Cloyd. It turns out, Austin was my friend Jaime's little sister Summer's, best friend.

We felt very far from home as we mourned.

One of the very first shooting victims was from the town that we live in now. His name was Ryan Clark. He was known by loved ones as, "Stack". It turns out that Stack's parents' home is less than 1 mile from ours. I would cry as I drove past Stack's house and saw the maroon and orange ribbons flying. Many store signs, theater marquees and billboards offered condolences to the victims of the tragedy and to Stack's family personally.

Mike and I will always remember the date of April 16. That date will resound with us for the rest of our lives. Out of the tragedy has come the blessings of a community pulling together. Our thoughts and prayers continue to be with the loved ones of all of those lost one year ago, tomorrow.Now, more than ever before...."Let's Go, H-O-K-I-E-S, HOKIES!"

Another Brilliant Post...

That, of course, I didn't write...

I like to rely heavily on the genius of others.

Thank you Jaime, for being so articulate and passionate.

Please, click on the blue-ish link below.

http://themckinleyfamily.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-can-never-wear-my-denim-skirt-again.html


Now, I am off to get ready for church...

She Said it Better Than I Ever Could...

To read a really great post about something that has been on my mind, please click on the highlighted link below.

Gabi, you said it better than I ever could. Thank you.
http://thegabblog.blogspot.com/2008/04/just-for-record.html

Talk About a Misunderstanding...

A couple of weeks ago when my in-laws were visiting, my Father-in-Law, Perry, was playing basketball with the boys. My Mother-in-Law, Joyce and I took Asher, the little boy I babysit, out to watch. Asher's mom, Becky, pulled into the driveway shortly after we took Asher outside and I went to greet her, and tell her all about Asher's day (how much he ate, how long his nap was, etc.).

As Becky was putting Asher into his car seat Evan said excitedly to both of us:

"Mom, I am a, 'whore' and Adam is a, 'ho'!"

I am immediately mortified that my Father-in-Law and Becky (who trusts me with her little boy and places faith in me that he will be treated well, and handled responsibly and lovingly) has heard my child say such a thing!

Me: (in a warning tone, say something along the lines of...) "Evan, why would you say such an inappropriate thing!!!!"

then, Adam chimes in with, "Mom, he is just telling you that I am only a, 'ho" but he is already a, 'whore'!"

I start to feel dizzy as I notice that my Mother-in-Law has heard Adam's declaration...

Me : "Boys, you can't say things like that!"

I look nervously over at Becky, and then my Father-in-Law, who calmly says with a huge smirk on his face:

"We are playing the game, 'HORSE', Evan is telling you he has earned an, H, an O, and an R, and Adam is telling you he has earned an H and an O...that's all they are trying to say."

I slowly digest his words, and realize, that they are playing that basketball game, "HORSE". In the game, each player tries to make a basket. If a player successfully makes a basket, then the next player has to successfully make a basket from the exact same location that the player that shot first was standing at. If the player that takes a shot after someone has made a basket misses, then the player that missed earns a letter. Whomever earns each letter in the word HORSE first, loses.

I even remember that I have played "HORSE" before. You know, back in the day, when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I quickly recover, and respond with my mouth still gaping open, "Ohhhhhhhhhh..."

My Mother-in-Law then says:

"Perry, you need to teach the boys not to say the letters they have, that way. It doesn't sound right."

My Father-in-Law then laughs, and says something along the lines of us being the ones with the problem, because we were thinking of the innocent way the boys were trying to explain who was losing in the wrong way.

Then, because I have made such a big deal out of it...I notice a look of understanding of why the way that the boys were describing the status of the game may be offensive begin to dawn on Evan's face.

Ask me why he knows the word, "whore" so well...

Yeah, it came from reading the scriptures together in family scripture study...he also knows the word, "harlot"... (scripture study stories of, "trying to define certain words to the children" could take up entire posts on their own)

*heavy SIGH*

Sorry, Evan and Adam...my mistake...

(why can't that game be called, "PIG" or "GOAT" or something)

Oh sorry, just thinkin' out loud for a second there...

So, as mentioned in a previous post, I didn't have working camera batteries in my camera when Grandma and Grandad Marshman were visiting...but here are some pictures of my boys playing basketball...or the likes thereof...

After a Saturday morning rainstorm.
Son, those are cowboy boots, not rain-boots.

Playing a little ball before the bus comes.

I feel cooler just knowing you, Adam.

Evan, (10 years and 9 months old), Adam (7 years and 9 months old) Brian (4 years and 11 months old)