I Was Going to Try and Be Clever...

I was going to try and be clever and post this picture, and the title of this post was going to be,

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"Notice Anything About This Picture?

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and then I was going to point out that they don't have couches like this in the NICU, or anywhere else in the hospital, for that matter...

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...because, the couches in the hospital are made of that kind of cold, vinyl-like material...and, the couches at the hospital are much cleaner than this couch, too...

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...and then, I was going to say that there is good reason that this particular stained couch is in the picture because...
After 46 Days in the NICU, at the age of 1 month, 2 weeks and 1 day old (technically, it would have been 36 weeks and 2 days gestation if I were still pregnant with him)

Our little John came home.

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John came home on the evening of Monday July 13th, 2009. When he was released from the hospital he came home with several types of medication, and apnea monitor and was still on oxygen. His first night home his apnea monitor alarmed while I was burping him to indicate that he was not breathing. Thank goodness I was holding him when it alarmed because I was able to look at him and see that he was just holding his breath for a few seconds. (Perhaps, he held his breath because I was burping him?- the monitor is very sensitive) I cannot imagine the terror I would have felt if I heard the apnea monitor alarm and I had to run to his crib to see what caused it.

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I told Mike that if that apnea monitor ever alarmed again, I was going to need oxygen, myself.

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...and maybe the use of a defibrillator.

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When I told Mike that he smiled and called out, "CLEAR!" as he pretended to put defibrillator paddles to his chest. He's hilarious, isn't he?

Well, it was a great 4 days home for our sweet John Daniel, but unfortunately he had to be hospitalized again yesterday morning because his lungs had filled with fluid and he had to strain to catch his breath even with the help of the oxygen. It was so scary to see his little chest contract so deeply into his body that it looked like it was going to touch his spine. I felt so helpless.

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The comforting news is for this hospital visit either Mike or I get to, "room in" with our little man and be in charge of all of his care (feeding, diapering, burping, holding, cooing at, etc.) and the doctors and nurses manage all of the medical aspects of his care. (Medicine, oxygen, X-rays, ultra-sounds, etc.)

All things considered, John is doing well and we hope to be able to bring him home again, soon. There is some question that he has a "sub ependymal hemorrhage" in his brain. The doctor assured us that small, "bleeds" on the brain are very common for preemies and that it is entirely possible that the bleeding will resolve on its own. I told the doctor that he cannot use the word, "hemorrhage" in my presence and expect me to keep a cool head. That's when he used the term, bleed" as opposed to, "hemorrhage". Nice try, Doc.

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So, again...all of these complications are common for preemies and John is getting excellent medical care. It is very possible that he will not have any long term effects from them and if he does...we will handle them as they present themselves. John has had multiple priesthood blessings and I am so grateful for how we have been blessed through them and through prayers. This whole experience has taught me so much about the Atonement. I know that our Heavenly Father knows our little John and that our Savior Jesus Christ has felt the pain of his physical infirmities. That knowledge has sustained me so much.

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So, I am off for my shift at the hospital, now. Mike spent last night bonding with our youngest man and I am so excited for my turn.

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This picture was taken by Adam when John was still in the NICU. Adam asked if he could take John's picture and when he did I noticed he had his hand in front of the camera lens. When I asked him what he was doing he said, "I'm taking a picture of my 'thumbs up' for baby John!"
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I really like this picture. Baby John, your big brothers, and parents are positively ga ga over you. Come home to us soon, little man.
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