Pinewood Derby Debriefing (Any Bragging Done in This Post is Meant to be Totally Tongue-in-Cheek, So Don't Get Excited)

Well, firstly I would like to wish our Adam (center) a heartfelt congratulations on winning first place in the Wolves' division and second for the Pack at the Pinewood Derby for troop 538. Adam was so, so thrilled and worked really hard with Mike on his camouflage Virginia Tech race car. His car was a sight to behold and proved a force to be reckoned with...heh, heh, heh. Adam has watched patiently for the three years that Evan was a Cub Scout and was so excited to finally get his turn to race.

When Mike and Adam were working on Adam's car, Evan sighed, "Ya know, it's not fair...it took Dad and I three years to figure out how to make a fast car and Adam is going to know all the tricks right away." You see, Evan's first car was an impressive looking shark car complete with intimidating dorsal fin. The shark car jumped the track several times...*ahem* not that anyone was counting...and lost a wheel several times, as well.

Ah, such is the life of the guinea pig...er...I mean, the firstborn.

I joked with Evan to cheer him up by telling him that by the time Brian is old enough for a Pinewood Derby that his reputation will surely proceed him. Evan and I spent the next few minutes making up scenarios with exciting storylines like, "As soon as Brian enters the gymnasium a hush will fall over the crowd...then only whispers among trembling competitors will be audible. Whispers like, "Oh, no...not one of the Marshman boys...will anyone ever be able to stop the Marshman juggernaut?" Evan began to cheer up and add details to our fantasy like, "Brian will have his car locked in a special briefcase that when he unlocks will make sounds like, 'Chhh...Chhh...Chhh'...(He made those sounds as he pretended to unlock some sort of pressure locked hydraulic briefcase). Evan's part of the fantasy also included smoke billowing out of Brian's silver briefcase. (I think he may have gotten that visual from the movie, "Down and Derby".)

The truth is, my saying things like Adam's car was, "a sight to behold and proved to be a force to be reckoned with" is meant to be funny and totally, tongue-in-cheek. The reality is, I really struggle with aspects of the Pinewood Derby. Perhaps, it is because I can hardly stand it when I see a Cub Scout crying when his car loses or wrecks (especially, if I am pregnant). I have an understanding of the kind of work that goes into making a Pinewood Derby car and how hopeful the boys are, especially because it is something the boys do with their fathers. I know that not everyone can win and perhaps it the whole experience could be thought of as a good, "life lesson" but, for some reason I still struggle.

Well, last year when Evan's car won and he got to go to continue on to the regional competition several of my blog friends asked me for tips on building a fast car. I have gleaned so many amazing tips from blog friends (recipes, fashion tips, movie reviews, book reviews, etc.) that I thought I would share what little we have learned.

Oh...you weren't serious about wanting tips...

Well...too late...

Tips From The Marshman Family Pinewood Derby Juggernaut:

Disclaimer: These tips are not foolproof. Cars have been known to beat ours without the following aspects in place. Phew...I feel better having posted a disclaimer...

Anyway...after Evan's shark car met its demise...repeatedly...*ahem* not that anyone was counting...Mike consulted our (now former) Bishop who is an engineer and gleaned the following tips.

Tip #1 from Bishop Horton:

Use the wedge cut. It is somehow more aerodynamic. Don't ask me...I only write the blog...I don't know why I say things most of the time...but, I do know the wedge cut works well.

Tip #2 from Bishop Horton:

Put all of your weight in the very back of the car. Mike uses fishing sinkers that he melts with a small blow torch (acetylene torch) and then pours into holes drilled in the back of the car. (If he adds too much weight to the car he drills a portion back out again.) We have seen all kinds of things used to make a car heavier. Just make sure the weight is in the back to help push the car along faster. (Do you like my artsy pictures of Adam's car shoved into the couch cushions?) Be careful not to make the car too heavy because you will be disqualified.

We always use my Weight Watchers scale to make sure our car isn't exceeding the weight limit.

At least that scale is getting some sort of use.

Tip #3 from Bishop Horton:

Put your wheels as far in the front and back of your car as possible. You will have to cut new slits with the band saw to reposition the wheels. Somehow, that makes the car go faster. It is important NOT to let the wheels extend further than the ends of the car. You will be disqualified if they do. (Sorry, this picture is lousy)

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The Marshman Family Division of Labor When Creating the Car:

Mike does the cutting of the car with the band saw, drills the holes for the weights to be put in, cuts new slits to reposition the wheels and uses the blow torch to melt the fishing sinkers.

The Cub Scout does all of the sanding, painting, re-sanding and glues the wheels into place. I have it on good authority that one particular Cub Scout who shall remain nameless...but his name rhymes with Adam Geoffrey Marshman, used the blow torch this year under the supervision of his father and unbeknownst to his mother. In the past the Cub Scout has been trusted to drill the holes that the melted weights are poured into.

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Tip # 1 from the Marshman Juggernaut:

In order to be victorious, your car must be painted in the official Virginia Tech Hokie colors (Chicago Maroon and Burnt Orange). Your car must also be emblazoned with the Virginia Tech, "VT" or your car cannot win. What? You doubt me? Well...good luck winning, my friends.

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The MOST Important Tip of all From The Marshman Juggernaut:

Realize that there is a certain amount of luck to winning and at the end of the day all of the cars are just slabs of wood with cheapie plastic wheels nailed in...and please don't cry because Sister Marshman will cry, too.

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So...there you have it...

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GENTLEMAN...START YOUR ENGINES!!!!!!

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