Evan Update...

Here is Evan's 5th Grade picture taken August 28th, 2007. (10 years and 1 month old)

I noticed recently that both Adam and Brian have several posts dedicated solely to them. I want Evan to be represented as well so, I would like to share what my first born has been up to lately.

Evan, continues to amuse me...he inherited his Dad's splendid sense of humor and catches me off kilter a lot.

Recently, I told Evan that he needed to hurry up and get dressed for church, and he said to me with a smug, smirk on his face, as he fixed his dress shirt collar, "Mom, you can't rush the man." He caught me off guard with his little quip...I basically responded with....*blink* *blink*, "What did you just say?" He then kept putting on his shirt with the same smug smile and walked out of the room, causing me to ask myself where, on earth, he comes up with some of the things he says. I don't really need to look far for my answer. Mike says a lot of hilarious things like that. I guess I just wasn't prepared to hear my 10 year old to refer to himself as "the man".

Yesterday, Evan didn't have any clean socks in his drawers. I told him they were all in the clean laundry basket and he said in an, for lack of a better way to describe it, aristocratic sounding voice, "Put them on my beautiful feet." I decided to play along and replied as I knelt down, "Yes, master...." I went to put a sock on his outstretched foot and he said in his stately voice, "Wait a moment!" and then he pretended to spit shine his bare foot with the base of his palm and stood back up and said, "Okay, now!" I laughed and asked, "Where do you come up with this stuff, son?" He shrugged and went off to find his shoes.

Brian was crying the other day about how he couldn't get his school clothes off (he tried to pull his pants off without taking his shoes off and ran into major trouble) and needed help to get his Batman outfit on. My hands were wet, (silly me, trying to prepare dinner) and I told Brian he would have to wait for help. That, of course, devastated Brian further, so he wailed louder, and Evan responded in total frustration, because he was trying to complete his homework, "Brian, not all of us care about YOUR needs!" We all burst out laughing after that, well, Brian didn't , but I was stymied again, as to where Evan comes up with some of the things he says.
(editorial note: To my Mom, and my Mother-in-Law, I would be willing to testify in a court of law, that I have never said such a thing. I truly care about these children's needs...which is evidenced by the fact that I have not run screaming into the night...yet)

A couple of months ago, Brian said, "Evan has Mater teeth." He meant "Mater teeth" as in Tow-Mater, from the movie, Cars. The reason I am even sharing this story is not to poke fun at Evan but, to compliment him on how well he took it. He didn't yell at Brian or cry. (I probably would have). He laughed it off, and said that he thought it was funny. I guess you really had to be there, but it showed a lot of maturity on Evan's part. Sorry, about having big teeth, Evan...it is definitely a Schwartz (my maiden name) trait.

I happen to think Mater is adorable, and you are already better looking anyway!


Evan was made an officer in the mandatory 5th grade 4-H program. I told him not to become too drunk with power. ( I was surprised that the 4-H program is mandatory. I don't know why I was so surprised, this is Georgia, after all.) Anyway, Evan came home and told me that there was a dance coming up for 4-H. I almost croaked. I responded along the lines of , "What!? You are only in the 5th grade...what is this DANCE you speak of !? You are not allowed to DANCE! You are 10! 10 year old 5th Graders don't Dance!" He just looked at me and said quietly, "Well, I think I am supposed to go." (He was referring to his responsibilities as an officer, I guess) I asked if there would be, "slow dancing" he kind of looked at me blankly, so I said, "You know, one on one with a girl?" He told me that he didn't know. I said that I really didn't think it was a good idea and he said, "You can come and watch me. You can drive in the mini-van and I will get a limo." Again, What!?! Where does he come up with this stuff?! We decided not to attend the dance and it wasn't because I am too cheap to pony up the jack for a limo. That whole conversation came with a realization. Evan will be in 6th grade next year. I am pretty sure there are dances in the 6th grade. I can't believe I am going to have to re-visit this subject so soon. *Sigh* I am going to have a middle-schooler next year. I am just not ready.

It is a tradition for some families in this town to get a limousine for their 5th grader to ride home in on the last day of school. Evan asked me if I was going to get one for him. I told him, "Sure...it will be a stretch limo. Bright yellow. Number 211" (Evan and Adam's bus number). I told him I would even secure a trustworthy driver, "His name is Mr. Turman." (Evan and Adam are chauffeured every day by their bus driver, Mr. Turman). He responded with laughter and finally said, "Good one, Mom." That is another thing I love about Evan. He still tells me when he thinks I am funny. It doesn't happen often, but I am so grateful for his seal of approval any time I can get it. We are on the cusp of the pre-teen years. I know it won't be long until he thinks I am a blithering idiot.

I will close with a sweet story that made me cry. Recently, one of Evan's teachers got married. She brought back all of the leftover party favors from her reception for the kids to enjoy. She gave them silky little drawstring bags filled with chocolate and many of the kids ate the chocolate and were going to throw the bags away. Evan brought me home several of the bags and said, "My friends were going to throw these away so, I saved them for you because I know you like pretty things." I then said a heartfelt, "Thank You, Evan!" and he responded with a cheery, "You're Welcome!" It just really touched me that he had thought of me, and that he used good manners in telling me, "You're Welcome." I Love You, Evan!