Endings and Beginnings (Parenthetically Titled, "You Might Be a Mormon If...")

I was in pretty good spirits a couple of weeks ago as we watched Evan play in his last YMCA soccer league game of the season. It was BLAZING hot that day, and because it had been overcast and raining all morning and early afternoon (the first game started at 3:00p.m.) I didn't think of wearing sunscreen, even though it was going to be a double header...is that what they call two soccer games back to back? I know, "double header" is usually the term they use do describe two baseball games that are played back to back...but can you use it for soccer?

...well...you get the idea...it was blazing hot and we were sitting through two soccer games...

At one point, I noticed a lot of parents, who were as ill-prepared for the heat as I was, had gone to their cars and gotten umbrellas to shade them from the inferno-like sun rays. I was impressed by the umbrella holding parents' genius and decided to go and get my umbrella from Ye Olde Minivan in order to preserve the top layer of  flesh from being scorched completely off of my body.

When I reached Ye Olde Minivan I realized quickly that someone had forgotten to put my mini-umbrella back in the side door pocket when they were finished using it.

Can you imagine such an error? I dare say that this is the very first time that someone in my family forgot to return an item to its proper place after using it. *cough*

As I walked back to the soccer field I saw an empty pizza box sticking out of one of the trashcans beside the field's gate and I felt a very strong, almost overwhelming temptation to stick that box on top of my head to provide some coverage and relief. Hey, it's not that weird...I would have flipped the greasy, food residue covered inside of the box to the outside...

Okay, for some reason I am taking an incredibly long time to get to the point of my story...I guess I told the first part of this story to explain that I was distracted by the heat from the ugly truth...

The UGLY truth that this was Evan's last soccer game with his YMCA team for THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

When I got back to the stands and I sat there wishing I was brave enough to pull a discarded pizza box out of the trash to use for shade, one of the other soccer moms asked me if Evan was going to play YMCA soccer next spring. I told her, "No, he turns 16 in July so he ages out of YMCA soccer."

...and then it hit me...the same year that Evan ages out of YMCA soccer, John, now age 4, is old enough to play...age 16 is WAY TOO OLD...and age 4, though still young, is WAY TOO OLD for the baby of the family to be aged.

Well...you know me...I got teary at this thought...but I pondered a while and then told Mike a, "Mormon Joke" that I had just formulated in my mind (the sun rays had not cooked my brain to a complete crisp at that point...I still had at least 72% brain function at that time...but another 20 minutes and it would have been curtains for any logic or reasoning skills...)

You see, it is not at all uncommon for members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, nicknamed, "Mormons" (because of The Book of Mormon) to have large families...and because of the, "large family" phenomenon, many, "Mormon Jokes" and phrases have been coined over the years.

Here are some examples of a typical, "You Might Be a Mormon If..." joke":

• You Might Be a Mormon If: Your mom is pregnant at your wedding reception (or any of your siblings' wedding receptions.)
• You Might Be a Mormon If:: You have to guess the name, more than three times, of the child you are disciplining... 
• You Might Be a Mormon If: Because of the size of your family, you are at least an hour late to a church activity but you are still the first family there...

You get the idea...

So, I leaned over and whispered to Mike, "Hey...You Might Be A Mormon If : Your oldest child ages out of YMCA Soccer the same year that your youngest is actually old enough to play..."

He laughed and smiled...and then I started crying in earnest...

I mean...we all know I'm a crier...but it was just too much in that moment. I looked at Evan on the field...and then I looked to where John was playing because he had just asked me, "Mom, tan I doe play wif da friends?"

It was a big moment, ya know?

Um...so...I can't think of a clever way to end this post...so...there ya go...

That is all...as you were ☺...

                                                                                                                                          

Closer look at the poor quality soccer picture. Evan in the center.                  

 John, seen here riding on Evan's shoulders. I thought it was an appropriate picture for this post. ☺