Monday, May 14, 2012

Pat Yourself on the Back

I know this picture was taken about two years ago...but it captures one of my happiest moments as a mother: Taking my little John (born 2 and a half months prematurely) swimming for the first time. (Not pictured is the little oxygen tank he was connected to, resting poolside.) It really is miraculous how healthy his lungs are now. Take my word for it...earlier today he was BELLOWING at me, "Mooooom, I ready to go to da YI-BRARE-EEEEE!!" What can I say? The little man loves story time at the library.
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My reason for posting today is this...
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Sometimes Mother's Day is really hard for moms. Like, really hard.
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I remember before I was even married sitting in Sacrament Meeting (our main worship service) hearing a mother that I admired speak on Mother's Day. In her talk she shared that her own mother despised coming to church on Mother's Day because she was sick of hearing about all of the, "perfect" mothers that could do amazing things like, "build a bicycle out of tin cans". I have to laugh remembering that church talk some 25 years later because the claim of perfect mothering including being able to do amazing things like, "build a bicycle out of tin cans" has stuck with me with perfect clarity.
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Some 25 years ago the young, single, then childless, Lauren thought she would never feel insecure about her mothering skills...
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But on Mother's Day...the Mother Guilt (definition: feeling guilty about being a less than perfect mother) always hits me hard. I know it shouldn't...but it does.
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After I got home from church yesterday I decided, "You know what? No more."
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I started to laugh (probably causing my dear husband to fear that I had finally lost it for good, as it appeared I was laughing at nothing) as I remembered a recent conversation with my oldest Evan. Evan likes to tease me (and by, "tease" I mean, "mock mercilessly") about the fact that my brain does not work mathematically. I'm serious. Something in my brain is broken...all of my children know that at about 4th grade they must seek help from their father if they need help with math homework. So...Evan was doing his typical, though good natured, teasing about my lacking math skills and then I said something along the lines of,
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"You know what boy? I may not be good at math...but mathematics is not my chosen field of expertise. Mothering is my chosen field of expertise, and while I am less than perfect, I had a great hand in producing you...who is excellent at math...so CLEARLY I am doing something right in my chosen field of expertise...so, you're welcome.:
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Evan looked at me blankly and then...*blink*...*blink* said, "That was pretty good, Mom."
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So...you know what? We may be less than perfect...but our families have our best efforts...if you think you aren't a good mom, take a look at your awesome kids...and I give you licence (because I am the boss of this here blog) to pat yourselves on the back.
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Go on Sista' Friends...you are doing a good job. You are doing hard things. Your Heavenly Father loves you and applauds your efforts... so, go on, pat away.
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13 comments:

Vicki said...

You're also great a being a motivational speaker/blogger! It' funny, yet sad, how hard we mothers are on ourselves. Thanks for the great pick me up!

Tristan said...

Oh my Lauren, how I adore you!! This was so awesome and I appreciate it so much! As do I appreciate that darling pic of Little John :) I remember when you posted that originally and the feeling I had at sharing your joy with you. I hope you had a good Mother's Day because you are one terrific Mom and person! LOVE YA!

Ash said...

You're a great mom! Your kids are kind of the best ones at church. You know how obsessed we all are with John. And math is dumb.

Annemarie said...

You are AWESOME!!! 'Nuff said.

Elizabeth said...

Happy Mothers Day!!!! You is a great Mum :-)
This post was fantastic and oh so true. Every one of us parents are doing the very best we can... and that is good enough.
Ex

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa-Mc said...

Patting my back right now. I definitely tend to focus on the things I do wrong rather than the good things I do right. Even though I'm on the other side of the country and I haven't met you in the real world, I can tell you are a wonderful mother!

Jannet said...

Excellent advice! You are an awesome mom! In fact, it was my self-appointed mission to enroll myself in "mother-of-boys" school this summer, and you were the first person I thought of when I was hunting out teachers for myself. SO expect a call from me on sharing your expertise!
My friend, I am now across the road! You should drop in some time and save me from the tedium of all these boxes!

Lisa-Marie said...

Brilliant and beautiful Lauren.

Loved it.

Now, please post more pics of Little John.

Jessica said...

For someone who deals with immense guilt regarding my mediocre mihering skills...mothers day is actually not too bad for me.

And Monday during my prayers I thought back on my day and gave myself an A for my mothering. Then on Tuesday I was barely scraping C- status. Oh well.

Sometimes I wish I could quit but I don't so that's something, right?

Aleasha said...

I love this post!!!! I was out of town at my Brother in laws church and the speaker made me feel sooooo bad. Like not only was I a terrible mother, but wife too. I walked away feeling annoyed, frustrated and annoyed! Thank you for reminding me of what I'm doing! YOU are an amazing woman! Love you dear and miss ya like crazy!!!!

Amanda said...

I absolutely adore you! I love how you word things! I love the relationship you have with your boys! & Ashlyn is right... you have the most well behaved kids I have ever seen. What's your secret?


And math IS dumb.

jessica said...

Thanks for the pat :) Right now I really don't deserve it but I am a single mom for four and a half weeks so the fact that I haven't physically harmed anyone does deserve something...you are awesome!