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My Dearest Sons,
Mommy has a severe headache. I can't be sure...but I believe the throbbing began during Sacrament Meeting when the fight between Evan and Adam broke out. What, my dear ones? You say you don't remember the fight? Allow me, your loving mother, to refresh your memories. The fight of which I speak, is the very fight that began because, and may I quote, "Evan jabbed me with his scriptures!". I have heard of being "stricken" with the word of God, but that kind of behavior, my sweets, is taking things a smidgen too far.
I felt my headache increase in severity, when on the way home from church, the usually tenderhearted Adam chose to hang one of Brian's church shoes out the window and let it flap in the breeze created by the moving mini-van as he chortled, "Be free, shoe!" and Brian yelled, "Give it back, you are making me cry!!....Now I am crying, see Adam!!".
Now that we have returned to our happy home and your lunches have been lovingly prepared and served, I feel as though my mothering ability will only be enhanced by my taking a much needed nap.
I am sorry that I don't know when your father will return from his, "after church meetings" but I feel that I must caution you to,
Only Disturb My Nap If:
- You have a massive head wound.
- You are on fire.
- You have been attacked by a pack of wild dogs.
Because, considering the way my head feels right now...let me just say, if you disturb my nap, a pack of wild dogs will have nothing on me, savvy?
Now please enjoy, yet another viewing of, "The Prince of Egypt" while you feast upon the popcorn that I have graciously prepared.
With, love, devotion and tenderness,
Mom
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40 comments:
I'm so sorry! Jon had to speak in church today, and I somehow continue to collect children during sacrament meeting that don't belong to me. So, I was happy for nursery time, except that my boys still scream when I drop them off. Oh the joys... I hope that you enjoy your nap! I love you, sistie!!
Ah the voice of mothers world wide!
Today on the way home from Church, Wells asked me why he always has a headache on Sunday. I told him it was just part of being a Mormon.
Ah, man! Well, I'm already eating chocolate for Jeni, so I'm going to eat some for you too, Lauren. Hang in there. I really hope no one got a head wound during your nap.
And Kelly is brilliant. Headaches are "just part of being a mormon." Hysterical!
It's these kinds of posts that help me get through those days with my own boys. I hope you got a good nap, you deserve it. I'm about to attempt one of my own. =)
I love that "stricken with the word of God." That was great.
You are so funny. I loved that! You are a great writer.
I was excited to hear about "your place" today-everyone needs a "place." I just wanted to let you know that I've added you to my list. The hospital, and Lauren. Thanks!
Oh I hope your headache goes away! That is so not fun! And why is it whenever Mama has a headache, the kids seem to not be on their best behavior?
I am so glad you so lovingly "warned" your boys to not disturb your nap!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Thanks for the giggles! Now I'm off to nap myself...I'll see you in dreamland my friend.
Get them in now because I am pretty sure babies will NOT let you nap, dogs or no...
I'm so, so sorry you have a nasty headache, but I am DYING of laughter at the shoe being dangled out of the window. It just sounds all too familiar!
Mine are not allowed to interrupt unless they are bleeding from their eyes.
I love it!! You are a great writer Lauren. I was seriously laughing out loud and I even read it to Will who is laughing too. I can totally relate to this letter. I hope you got a wonderful nap and thanks for cheering up my day with a good laugh!
Ohhhh, I hate Sunday Headaches. And when you are pregnant you can't take anything good for them...dangit.
I love your sweet letter to the boys. When my head hurts, I just start crying (yelling hurts) and tell the kids i just can't take any more. They know what "Mommy has a headache" means. It means they had better be quiet. And they didn't find out from a sweet letter. You are too funny, Ilove your writing and sarcasm!
Hope you feel better soon!
Hahaha! That was awesome!! How is it possible that church can cause so much trauma every week? I loved the bit about the nap. I cannot wait until my kids are old enough for that. I'm pretty sure that if I tried it, Charlotte would not live through it. :) Loved it!
About the hairbows...I did/do make them. They are totally easy. Basically, you glue a fake flower to a bendy-clip. Maybe I could send you a few pics....Amy knows how to do it too. :) Thanks again for the post!
you know...who ever thought it was a good idea to let little boys attend sacrament meeting in the first place?? :) i so feel your pain!!
I hope your headache is gone! Pregnancy headaches are always the worst. I hope your kids did not get any head wounds, catch on fire, or get attacked by a pack of wild dogs (or a wild mother with a headache for that matter) :)
That was awesome. Here's hoping your headache is gone!
Even if your boys weren't afraid, I was. (Does that make you feel better?)
I have always wondered about single shoes I have seen by the roadside...I guess there are a lot of Adams in the world terrorizing little brothers.
Does your asking about bows mean anything in particular?
I always told my kids I didn't want to hear about it unless their eyes were bleeding.
I hope you enjoyed a long nap.
To funny commentary and a not so funny headache.
copying and giving to my own progeny. thanks for doing the legwork here.
i have something to email you. send me your email address anbproductions@gmail.com
gracias chica
You are so funny! Can I copy that list for my future naps? Those three reasons are the best!!
Lauren, I decided to set my blog to private. so e-mail me your e-mail address so i can add you to the list. please!! :)
c2001d@hotmail.com
Lauren, I decided to set my blog to private. so e-mail me your e-mail address so i can add you to the list. please!! :)
c2001d@hotmail.com
That link for the dress shirt dress tutorial is the same one that I used. She doesn't always explain in large detail, but you can always email if you have a question. Are you preplanning for a girl? :)
...adding The Prince of Egypt to my list of appropriate Sunday movies...Hang in there!
Striken with the word of god. You kill me! BEST LINE EVER.
Sorry about the sucky Sunday. Here's hoping you had a glorious nap, my friend.
Ah the joys of sacrament meeting with kids! My sister came down this weekend and we had ten kids sitting in one pew.
It was not the quietest Sunday for everyone around us...
Lauren I seriously don't know how you do it... especially on Sundays & all the other days of meetings that Mike has. You have the most amazing sense of humor. Man, life with girls is different... I'm just lucky to keep my girls from screaming/crying as we walk down the aisle while Paul is already at the organ playing prelude.
I can just hear your voice reading this "note" in a firm, but oh so sweet voice, trying not to yell and through clinched teeth. Love it! You are so much more refined and patient than I am- my kids don't get the explanation- they just get a door lock, fan on, and threat that they, too, will have to take a nap if they bug me!
Ah, you gave them popcorn in hopes of preventing them from sneaking other food while you sleep. Great tactic. I need to do that otherwise I typically find the snack cupboard raided.
i hear you, girl! i love sunday afternoon naps! prince of egypt is a favorite in our house, too!
Can I copy that letter for the future?
I hope your headache went away!
I'm so so so so sorry but I think at any given time we could substitute all our children's names and sign it from mothers everywhere. HANG in there and I hope you feel better!
Sweetie, I'm 37--ain't nothing young about me. :-)
Lauren,
You are just too fab! I love the way you write! You crack me up. I am so sorry that you had a head ache. Those stinky boys!!!!
I miss ya here in ol' Tejas!!!! Hope YW is surviving with out me... who am I kiddin' you guys are awesome!!!! Sorry I wont be there for the big shin-dig next Wednesday. Give my love to the girls... and leaders!
you are the funniest blogger in the history of blogging (i mean blooging) try to check my bloog out. http://ravyn-abutterflyseyes.blogger.com
I love the name of it
A Butterfly's Eyes
see ya at church
p.s. i love your threats, they make me feel feel less. . . .
violent. NO Q'S AND A'S
My children may only disturb me for the same reasons...and thats EVERY time I take a nap. Sleep away!!!
H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!!!! You are such a nut! I love it. When I saw this on Cindy's blog I just had to click and read. Well worth it I must say....worth it indeed. :)
The door to door salesman, who pounded on the door during a much needed pregnancy nap (several years ago) is still reeling from the lecture I gave him when he didn't take my first NO for an answer and continued to try and sell me the home-security system that I didn't need or want. His parting comment to the kids who were playing in the yard was, "Your Mom is really mean."
YBYA!
Translation (just in case): YBYA = you bet your a$$.
Do you find it strange that my comments are always about me?
Hope your headache has gone, and you're feeling better! Been thinking about you! HUGS!
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